


Tuned Into My Frequency

by jannika



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-02
Updated: 2012-08-02
Packaged: 2017-11-19 17:17:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/575698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jannika/pseuds/jannika
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An AU where they're all former child stars except Liam. Niall is still trying to make it, Harry wrote a book, Louis and Zayn weren't all that famous to begin with and now they're sort of floundering, and Liam is a college kid starring in a musical. Zayn doesn't think he's important, Liam doesn't sleep, Harry is brave, Niall is determined and Louis is getting desperate.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tuned Into My Frequency

**Author's Note:**

> I have random AU phrases that float in my head sometimes- there was _give them all magic_ out of which superhero!AU was born, and then there was _actual child star Harry Styles_ which spun itself into this the other day, because my brain has become an oven for 1D AUs or something. Anyway- not that it really matters, but in my head here, fame level wise, Harry is like, Dakota Fanning famous- and the rest of them are Disney/Nick star famous? So. For everyone who reads these and with thanks to [](http://dangerbears.livejournal.com/profile)[**dangerbears**](http://dangerbears.livejournal.com/) for capital letters-ings with me about Louis-Zayn friendship feelings last week. And of course, to [](http://folkloric-feel.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://folkloric-feel.livejournal.com/)**folkloric_feel** who is the Liam to my Zayn, like always. ♥

The press, or that press that still cares about them from time to time anyway, thinks that they met in rehab and became fast friends. They never bother to correct them- Louis is always just happy to get talked about at all anymore, and Zayn figures it's not worth it. They're not the best stories ever, always just little blurbs that basically call them both washed-up losers with no career prospects who should probably go back to rehab because they were seen out clubbing again the previous night. It would be nice to be talked about a little better than that, but whatever, honestly. It's still better than not getting auditions, still better than the phone calls that don't come, still better than being on lists on the internet about people's childhood- lists that imply he's stopped existing in the past five years. Those things are much worse than a blurry picture of him coming out of a club with Louis.

It's not like either of them were ever _famous_ famous in the first place. They'd both been on shows aimed at twelve-year-olds, hired mostly for Tiger-Beat-ready faces. Zayn had also gotten to sing sometimes- he's got two highly forgettable Radio-Disney-played singles under his belt and a music video they watch drunk sometimes. He'd also been one of three leads on a show about middle school boys with big dreams. There had been several TV movies and a lot of hope and mall signings. Louis had been the charming older brother to a spunky headlining female on a show with pink credits, a pop theme song, and a laugh track. The girl who'd been the star is a model now who is mostly famous for the eating disorder she'd battled.

Louis likes to count the days since the last time he's worked, sitting on the couch in their shared apartment, counting days, minutes, seconds since he's done anything at all. Zayn mostly just listens and pours more drinks. He doesn't count his days, it would just make him feel worse, and right now he's mostly just restless and bored.

They pass their days in an aimless blur, generally, drinking more than they should, wasting time and waiting for things that will probably never happen. Louis likes to throw his name around and see if people react, likes to sleep with people only because they recognized his name. Zayn is pretty sure that's an awful idea, that Louis probably shouldn't use sex to validate the fact that he used to be famous, that he used to think he was going to places, but he's not really one to talk about making good choices. He is also pretty sure he's in no place at all to talk about Louis' sex life.

The problem is, or, one of the problems- because they're sort of a mess- is that sometimes, when Zayn is having dark days, he thinks that Louis believes their press story, or at least sort of believes it. He obviously knows that neither of them was actually there for addiction, not really- Zayn had been hiding out from a bad relationship and he'd still had a manager who cared enough to suggest things, and Louis- well, Zayn has never been sure why Louis was there because as far as he can tell Louis was the same person before, during, and after rehab, only now he has Zayn and they have- whatever it is they have. There had been nights before, though, nights when they were both still maybe going to be big things, nights of bars and drinks and swallowing pills passed to them- nights in bathroom stalls and hotel rooms and Zayn's skin and Louis' tongue and warm slides of hands.

It happened enough times that it was very much a _thing_ , very much something Zayn started to just associate with nights like that, with being out of his mind on god knows what and then finding himself in Louis and the moans they drew from each other. They'd never hung out sober, never talked at any less than a half dozen drinks in before rehab, but there had been a thing. Only, sometimes Zayn isn't sure Louis remembers it, at all. Or, more properly, sometimes Zayn isn't sure that Louis connects those moments to _Zayn_. They never, ever talked about it, and sometimes Zayn isn't sure that even if Louis remembers someone, he doesn't remember that that someone had been Zayn.

It sort of kills him, honestly. They've talked about almost everything else since, and they've hooked up sober multiple times now, and the fact that Louis has never mentioned makes Zayn think Louis must not remember. Not that they're a romantic thing now, not that they have sex on the regular or anything, it's just- part of what they do sometimes. Sometimes instead of going out and sleeping with strangers they sit at home and turn to each other- and it's good, it is, even if it brings Zayn right back to those nights years ago.

Sometimes Louis will say things like,

"This article implies we're sleeping together! Why do people think that?" And Zayn will say,

"We are sleeping together, asshole!" And Louis will say,

"Yeah, but not like they think we are," as if that's a thing that makes any sense at all, "They just don't understand our love," Louis will say. And Zayn will think _neither do I_.

But it's okay, it is. They're just two has-beens waiting to be again, and sometimes they wait together. Really.

**

Zayn starts taking an art class in the fall, he's been taking random credits off and on for years at one of the local big public universities, and he's pretty sure he's only allowed to string classes along and show up when he feels like it because his name still means something sometimes, because he's still a name they can put on their website as a famous student. Whatever, though. He has no real desire to earn a degree, he just likes to learn things sometimes and he likes that he can get lost in the crowd here. He likes to pretend he's doing something. He likes that it's a thing he does on his own, without Louis.

His art class is four hours on Tuesday nights, and it's good to get out of the house and talk about drawing and art and not alcohol and job offers that don't come. They're given partners in the second week, to _provide encouragement and honest feedback_ for each other, and Zayn finds himself face to face with a guy wearing a Burberry sweater and gulping coffee.

"That's seriously amazing, I'm Liam and you're really good," the guy- Liam- says. Zayn grins at him.

"Thanks," he says. Liam studies him for a moment and quirks an eyebrow.

"Aren't you…?" he asks, "I mean, weren't you?"

"Yeah," Zayn says, "I'm Zayn and whatever you think you remember me from, you're probably right That was me."

"And now you're in a very unglamorus art class?" Liam asks.

"I don't have anything else to do," Zayn admits.

"Huh," Liam says, "you really are good."

"Thanks," Zayn says again, blushing a little. Liam has really good eyes and he smells kind of awesome and Zayn thinks this conversation is already going really well. He's pretty sure they're already tip-toeing towards flirting, which is excellent. He needs this, even if it's only ever a distraction during art class.

"I'm just here for the credits, I'm a performer," Liam says, shrugging.

"Yeah?" Zayn asks.

"Yeah, I mean, not like you, but I am the lead in the student-run musical. You should do theater here. Why don't you?" Liam asks.

"I think I'd have to be full time for that," Zayn says.

"Nah," Liam says, "I'm pretty sure you don't, and I'm head of student activities, so I could get you in even if that is a rule. If you wanted," Liam says. He grins at Zayn when he does and it hits his eyes and makes Zayn's stomach roll a little.

"Or I could just come see you," Zayn says. Liam blushes and Zayn grins, glad he can do this sober. Glad he can hit on people in the light of day, in college classrooms and not smoky bars.

"I'd like that," Liam says, biting his lip a little.

"You're the lead in the musical and the head of student activities?" Zayn asks.

"I also write for the paper and have an internship," Liam says, smirking a little, sounding equal parts bashful and proud of himself.

"Impressive," Zayn says.

"You think?" Liam asks.

"I do," Zayn asks. Liam glances at him, looks him up and down and sucks in a breath and Zayn can almost see the wheels in his head turning.

"I um, I'm also the vice president of something else," Liam says.

"Something else?" Zayn asks. Liam bites his lip again, searching- and Zayn wonders if Liam is trying to remember things he's read or knows about Zayn, it's a look he's gotten before. Normally a little drunker, but people give him that- a look that both searches his face and people's own memories. It's cuter on Liam than it is on most people.

"I'm GSA vice president," Liam says, in a way that makes it clear he's telling Zayn for a reason, that he doesn't want Zayn to assume he's in the straight part of that alliance. Zayn grins.

"So we are flirting, then?" Zayn asks. Liam blushes again.

"I was hoping," he says.

"Me too," Zayn admits.

"I'm pretty sure I read somewhere that you were some sort of rebel these days, angry and drug addicted," Liam says.

"You can't believe everything you read," Zayn says, grinning.

**

In October Louis' show gets pulled from the little syndication it had, and Louis has a meltdown.

"What are we going to do now?" Louis asks, pacing around their apartment.

"We?" Zayn repeats.

"I don't have any money coming in now!" Louis says. Zayn sighs.

"You'll figure something out, Lou," he says.

"You have to help me!" Louis says, falling down on top of Zayn on the couch, sighing, "we’re so fucked, Zayn."

"It'll be okay," Zayn says.

"We could make a sex tape!" Louis says, sticking a hand in Zayn's shirt.

"Excuse me?" Zayn asks.

"You and me! It would be a scandal!" Louis says.

"No," Zayn says, and he doesn't push Louis' hand away the way he probably should, but he's not perfect.

"It would be perfect! People love a good scandal, and we'd have fun," Louis says.

"No, Louis," Zayn says.

"Why not?" Louis asks.

"Because you're ridiculous," Zayn says.

"Do you not love me anymore? Is this because of your art class boy?" Louis asks, mocking pouting.

"Yes, the only reason I won't make a _sex tape_ with you is because of the guy I've been flirting with. You've figured it out," Zayn says.

"You don't love me anymore," Louis says, and he's drawing lines on Zayn's chest with his fingers and Zayn feels himself arching into it, feels his pulse speeding up, knows Louis can feel it too.

"Fuck off, Louis. It's not my fault you buy four-hundred-dollar sunglasses and drinks for everyone at the bar," Zayn says, straightening up and grabbing at Louis' hand with his own and pulling it out of his shirt. Louis frowns.

"Hey," he says, "I'm kidding."

"Too far," Zayn says.

"I always take things too far," Louis says, "you never mind."

"Sorry," Zayn says.

"I do know you well enough to know how much you like your privacy. That sex tape isn't on your list of things you'd ever do," Louis says- and his hand is on Zayn's knee now, and that's not really much better.

"Sorry," Zayn says again, "I know you're upset and you have reason to be."

"I'm always a little desperate when I'm upset," Louis says.

"You are," Zayn agrees.

"And I was kidding," Louis says again.

"I know," Zayn says, allowing himself a smile. Louis beams at him and burrows into Zayn, wrapping himself around Zayn's limbs.

"You are gonna help me though, right?" Louis asks in Zayn's ear. Zayn sighs a little.

"No, I'm going to let you starve," he says.

 _"Zayn,"_ Louis says.

"Yeah, we'll figure it out," Zayn says.

**

They're sitting in Liam's apartment, because they always go to Liam's, and Liam is making tea and Zayn is sketching and it's a really, really nice way to spend Tuesday afternoon before class. They haven't moved beyond flirting yet, but it's really fun and he's started to like Liam a lot. He's not sure when or if their relationship is going to move any farther, but where it is right now works really well.

"I had this thought," Liam says, sitting down and handing Zayn his tea.

"Yeah?" Zayn asks.

"Have I told you about my internship?" Liam asks.

"Only a little," Zayn says.

"It's with Target," Liam says, and Zayn allows himself an impressed eyebrow raise at that.

"I don't know when you sleep," Zayn says.

"I sort of don't, most of the time," Liam shrugs, "But like, the other day when I was there I was looking through these proposals and stuff."

"And?" Zayn asks, making a mental note about Liam not sleeping. Zayn's never fixed anything for anyone in his life, he's not good at things like that, but he wants to help Liam with this, wants to make it better.

"Well, okay, I thought, I mean, shit, I would never want to like, use you or your celebrity and I'm sorry and maybe this is an awful idea," Liam rambles. He buries his face in his hands when he's done and Zayn reaches out and pulls Liam's hand off his face.

"Please stop apologizing and just tell me. I promise not to be offended," Zayn says.

"I just thought- you know those like, celebrity clothing design lines?" Liam asks.

"Yeah?" Zayn says.

"Well I was looking at your stuff- and I thought like, on shirts it would be really great, people would buy that," Liam says. Zayn blinks at him.

"What?"

"I just think- you could, we could like, make your stuff into a line- and people would look because they remember your name, but they'd buy because they'd be amazing," Liam says.

"I don't think that many people remember my name," Zayn says, biting his lip.

"I think you'd be surprised, and seriously," Liam says, pulling Zayn's sketch pad and holding it in front of his chest, "I'd wear this."

"You don't buy clothes at Target," Zayn says.

"Are you trying to tell me you hate the idea? Because it's fine if you do, it was just an idea," Liam says.

"No," Zayn says, "I don't hate it."

"But?" Liam asks.

"I just draw for fun," Zayn says.

"I'm not the only person who'd think you're amazing," Liam says.

"Biased," Zayn says, mumbles a little.

"What?" Liam frowns, then he rolls his eyes, "I promise this isn't part of my grand plan to get in your pants, I'm not flirting with you, I mean, I'm always flirting with you, but I'm not just flirting with you. You're good."

"You want to put my stuff on a clothing line and get in my pants?" Zayn says.

"Something like that," Liam says, grinning.

"And you have enough power to do that, as an intern?" Zayn asks.

"Well, I know people, and we would have your name going for us, and I really think that if I could just get people to see your stuff and pitch the idea, they'd go for it," Liam says.

"You really think?" Zayn asks.

"I do," Liam says, "can I show them your stuff?"

"Yeah," Zayn says, biting his lip, "okay, yeah."

"Awesome," Liam says. Zayn grins and tugs his sketch pad out of Liam's hand and pulls him in.

"So, that other part," he says. Liam grins.

"We have class in fifteen minutes," Liam says, shaking his head.

"Yeah, but I've wanted to do this for weeks," Zayn says, pulling Liam in closer and kissing him.

"We could be a little late," Liam says against his lips. Zayn grins.

**

Actual former child star Harry Styles comes out to People Magazine and Louis reads every line of the article out loud to Zayn with dramatic pauses and sighs in all the right places.

"And he's written a book about all of this!" Louis says, sighing.

"I heard," Zayn says.

"I think I'm in love," Louis says. Zayn rolls his eyes.

"You would. He was nice when we were fourteen," Zayn says.

"That's right! You know him! You did that thing with him!" Louis says.

"Not really. We were in the same episode of a show years ago. I'm sure he doesn't even remember," Zayn says. Harry is their age and hasn't worked in about as long as them, as far as Zayn knows anyway, but Harry had done the sort of movies and things that people respect, he'd gotten serious parts and actual acclaim. He'd been the sort of actual famous they'd only ever just wanted to be. His coming out is a big deal because the public was in love with him for a while- he's not just a name the way Louis and Zayn are.

"Aw, Zaynie. You're very memorable," Louis says. Zayn bites his lip to avoid wincing at that.

"Whatever," Zayn says, "we were never friends or anything."

"I think I love him," Louis repeats, eyes still scanning the article.

"Of course you do," Zayn says.

"Do you think if I came out to People, he'd fall in love with me?" Louis asks.

"I think if you came out to People everyone with a pulse would fall in love with you," Zayn says. Louis grins at him and slings an arm around his shoulder.

"I am loveable," Louis says, "maybe I should do it."

"You can't come out to People just so Harry Styles knows you're available," Zayn says, shaking his head.

"It would also jump start my career! Maybe I could write a book," Louis says.

" _Louis,_ " Zayn says, shoving Louis a little. Louis has been talking about coming out for years now, for as long as Zayn has known him, and he's been thinking about it longer. He used to say all the time he wanted to be the first out tween star, the first kid from Nickelodeon to do it- but then time had moved on and Louis had drunkenly confessed a time or two that he was pretty sure that if he did it now people would think he just wanted the attention. It's actually one of the few things Louis takes very, very seriously, and Zayn doesn't want to let him get away with talking about it like it's not.

"What? It's a better idea than a sex tape, right?" Louis asks.

"That it is," Zayn agrees.

"And it's not like I'm really in, it's just that no one's bothered to ask in a long time. I could just tell them," Louis says.

"I just think there are better ways to get Harry, if you really want, and probably other ways to get a job offer," Zayn says.

"Such as?" Louis challenges. Zayn sighs again and pulls his phone out of his pocket. He pulls up the article he'd been reading earlier.

"Harry is doing signings of his book, he'll be here next week," Zayn says. Louis breaks into a broad grin.

"You're a genius," Louis says.

"Yes. I can read articles," Zayn says.

"We'll go, right? You'll come with me and we'll go make him fall in love with me?" Louis says.

"Only if you come to Liam's play with me on Friday," Zayn says. Louis pauses like he's considering that.

"You want me to meet him?" Louis asks.

"If you want," Zayn says, like maybe it's not a big deal. Only it sort of is.

"You want me to try and like him?" Louis asks.

"I'd appreciate it. He's not hard to like, I promise," Zayn says. Louis nods.

"Okay. I'll meet your college boyfriend and you help me snag Harry Styles," Louis says.

"He's not my boyfriend," Zayn says.

"Yet?" Louis asks.

"Maybe," Zayn says, grinning a little. Louis grins back.

"Okay," he says again. He pours himself a drink then, and Zayn watches him, just watches, more than he normally lets himself stare at Louis. He thinks he should probably mention the Target thing and the clothing line, but he hasn't yet because he doesn't want to jinx it. He thinks that if it goes through and it works then they'll be all set and Louis won't have to worry about money anymore. He thinks it's probably not healthy that he wants to take care of Louis with his money, he knows it's not healthy. He kind of doesn't care.

**

They go to see Liam's play on Friday. Zayn's never seen _The Pajama Game_ before, but he's pretty sure he likes it for reasons that aren't Liam. Although Liam would be reason enough, so it doesn't really matter. Louis whispers in his ear the whole time, but Zayn knows he's having fun. Louis has a thing about musicals, actually, a thing Zayn doesn't normally indulge. So it's good for both of them, really.

"He is cute," Louis says when Zayn points Liam out.

"I know," Zayn says, grinning.

Liam finds them after, a girl with long brown curly who'd played opposite him with him.

"You came," Liam says.

"I told you I would," Zayn says, "you were amazing."

"Yeah?" Liam says, "This is Danielle, by the way."

"Hey, I'm Zayn," Zayn says, reaching out to shake the girl's hand. He has the distinct impression he's being inspected to see if he's good enough for Liam. He hopes he's measuring up.

"I’m Louis," Louis says, "excuse Zayn's manners."

"Right, sorry! Liam, Danielle, this is Louis," Zayn says, watching Louis and Liam size each other up.

"Oh my god, you are, aren't you?" Danielle says, looking at Louis. He turns away from Liam to beam at her.

"Louis Tomlinson at your service, darling," Louis says. Danielle grins.

"I had your picture on my wall when I was eleven!" Danielle says.

"I like you. I like her," Louis says.

"Danielle just wanted to meet you," Liam says to Zayn, blushing a little.

"How could I not? He's all you've talked about for weeks," Danielle says. Zayn smirks a little.

"Please don't believe anything you read about me on the internet," Zayn says, "I promise not to drag Liam into orgies and drug rings."

"That's my job," Louis says.

"Please ignore him," Zayn says. Everyone laughs a little at that, and Zayn can't help but feel like this is going really well.

"I feel like I'm inside my old J-14 subscription," Danielle says.

"How're we living up?" Louis asks.

"I'll let you know," Danielle says, "Do you guys know Niall?"

"Niall?" Zayn asks, pretty sure that unless that's the most random jump in conversation ever, she means Niall Horan, who'd been sort of famous in the same way as them in about the same time. He's pretty sure Niall still works, guest roles on TV here and there and some low budget movies. He might even have an album. He'd never worked with him, but they'd had mutual friends years ago.

"Niall Horan," Danielle confirms, "he has friends that go here and I just booked him to play an event."

"I didn't know you got him!" Liam says, turning to her and grinning.

"I confirmed it with him this morning," Danielle says.

"I haven't seen Niall in a million years!" Louis says. Zayn is pretty sure that Louis had actually worked with Niall, some made-for-TV movie, he thinks.

"You guys will have to come see him," Danielle says, "it will be a reunion."

"Your preteen fantasies come to life?" Liam teases.

"Yes, but in my fantasies I was actually their type," Danielle says, then adds, "not that I care that I'm not, obviously."

"I'm thrilled you're not, personally," Liam says, "but you could be Niall's. We don't know. Unless he told you his life story on the phone this morning."

"You make a good point," Danielle says. Then she grins at Louis and Zayn and reaches her hand out again, "I have to get going, but it was really good to meet you both." They both shake her hand and grin.

"You too," Zayn says. Louis pulls her into a hug and says she'll have to tell him one day which poster it was. She makes them promise to come to Niall's thing, and then she's off and the three of them are alone and Liam and Louis go back to sizing each other up.

"You were very good," Louis says.

"Thank you," Liam says.

"Your voice is amazing," Louis says, "if we were auditioning together I'd hate you."

"Thank you," Liam says again. Louis studies him for another minute, and Zayn waits- and then Louis breaks into a large grin and pulls Liam into an even bigger hug than he'd pulled Danielle into.

"I don't share Zayn with just anyone, you know," Louis says.

"Share?" Liam repeats, raising a questioning eyebrow at Zayn over Louis' shoulder. Zayn shrugs back.

"Did you want to come help us seduce Harry Styles?" Louis says. Liam's eyebrow goes up even higher and Zayn thinks he might be getting the wrong impression, here. Or, well. It's not actually as wrong of an impression as it should be, but still.

"He's decided he's in love, and I told him if he came to meet you I'd help him win over Harry at a book signing," Zayn explains. Liam nods.

"I've decided we're friends now, Liam," Louis says.

"Okay?" Liam says.

"And friends help friends get Harry Styles to love them," Louis says. Liam nods, looking just a little confused.

"Sure," Liam says. He bites his lip a little and Zayn just wants to pull him and reassure him, only he's not sure of what or what he'd say, actually. He settles for beaming at Liam and enjoying the fact that Louis likes him. It's enough for now.

**

The line for the signing is ridiculous. There are protestors outside and Zayn closes his eyes as they walk past and hopes no one recognizes him or Louis. No one does, luckily- although Louis is probably disappointed, actually- and they make it in and into the line. A few people throw them curious looks, and one girl comes up to them and gets Louis and Zayn to sign her book next to where Harry had, but for the most part they just wait and Louis grills Liam about his life and accomplishments and if he's ever thought about really trying with his singing, grinning at Zayn every time Liam says something he approves of. They reach the front of the line, only two people ahead of them, and Louis starts to look a little nervous, rolling in his shoes and asking them if they think his life is about to change. They're one person away when Harry looks up and sees them behind the person's shoulder. He stares. He stares at them and seems distracted the whole time he's signing for the person in front of them.

"I know you!" Harry enthuses when they get up to him, and Louis' face lights up like it's his damn birthday, "Well, I know Zayn, and I recognize Louis, I don't know you," Harry says, nodding to Liam at the last part.

"You wouldn't. I'm just Liam," Liam says. Harry grins at him.

"You have good friends, Just Liam," Harry says. Louis is bouncing, he's actually bouncing and Zayn can't help but grin at him. This is going much, much better than their best imagined turn of events.

"Congratulations, on the book and on everything," Zayn says. Harry smiles, then he glances at the book in Louis' hand.

"You bought my book?" he asks Louis.

"I did," Louis says. Harry reaches out and grabs the books from Louis, pulling out a highlighter and swiping a page and then writing in the front of Louis' book.

"Thank you," he says, glancing back up at Zayn. A guard ushers them along as soon as Harry stops signing Louis' book, and Harry waves as they walk off, looking pleased with himself. Louis bounces as they walk back to the car.

"Are you going to read that?" Liam asks.

"Not till we're back in the car," Louis says, holding his book reverently. He opens it as soon as they get in the car and shut all the doors and Louis says, "holy fuck. Oh my god."

"What?" Zayn asks. Louis passes the book to him, wordlessly. Zayn feels his own jaw drop a little as he reads, and hears Liam gasp next to him.

_Louis,_

_Did you know you're in this book? You should probably check pages 178-179. Then you should probably call me._

_(Zayn's in here too. Page 91.)_

_Thanks for buying the book and for standing in my line._

_Call me_

_Harry_

Harry's number is listed after that, and Zayn whistles a little as he turns to the mentioned pages- finding that page 178-179 are what Harry had been highlighting earlier and that talk about- holy shit- that talk about Harry watching some horrid TV movie Louis had done and developing a massive crush on him and buying issues of teen magazines just to read Louis' interviews. Zayn shakes his head and turns, curiously, to page 91 where Harry is talking about being young and confused and mentions that he'd attempted to awkwardly flirt with Zayn when they were filming the episode. Zayn stares in disbelief.

"Call him right now, Louis. Leave him a message, send him a text, do it now," Zayn says.

"We don't have to make him love you," Liam says. Louis snatches the book back out of Zayn's hand and starts typing frantically.

"He already loves me," Louis says, and Zayn has never actually heard him sound so happy. It's a little weird, in the best possible way.

**

Harry and Louis text constantly for the next week or so. Zayn doesn't see Louis without his phone in his hand, and Louis just seems so happy, so much lighter than he normally does. They go to the Niall thing Danielle had invited them to and Zayn is impressed, really impressed. So impressed that he makes a note to look up Niall's stuff when they get home. Danielle makes all three of them pose for a picture when Niall is done and she jokes that it will get about a million nostalgic notes on Tumblr.

"You both look better than I thought you would," Niall says when Danielle has gone to lock up leaving Louis, Liam, Zayn and Niall alone.

"Thanks?" Zayn says.

"I've seen some awful pictures," Niall says.

"We are drunk and poorly lit in all of those, though. It doesn't count," Louis says.

"Fair enough," Niall says, "I wasn't trying to be a dick, I was just saying. It's been a while."

"We get it," Zayn says.

"I mean, not that I've been doing a lot. Not judging," Niall says.

"I don’t know, this sort of looks like a lot," Louis says.

"Yes, playing college functions is totally what I've always wanted," Niall says, rolling his eyes.

"You were in that mini-series a few months ago," Zayn offers. Niall shakes his head.

"I started this wrong. What I meant was, 'thanks for coming, it's awesome to see you again, Louis, and to meet you Liam and Zayn,'" Niall says.

"You were really good," Liam offers.

"Thanks. So were you," Niall says. Liam frowns,

"What?"

"I came to your play the other night. You're really good," Niall says.

"Isn't he?" Zayn enthuses. Liam grins at him. Louis looks around and them and grins,

"Does anyone want to get drunk?" he asks, "I can invite Harry."

"You want the five of us to go get drunk?" Zayn asks, raising an eyebrow and wondering what where this is going.

"I think I'm having a brilliant idea," Louis says.

This could be trouble.

**

They all pile into a booth and have a few rounds and ignore the curious looks they get from people who are probably taking cell phone pictures. Louis and Harry are all over each other, hands in back pockets and on laps and they're both just beaming.

"Can I ask you something?" Zayn says to Harry when they're a few rounds in.

"What's up?" Harry asks.

"Were you really trying to flirt with me?" Zayn asks, "I didn't even think you would like, remember that we were in a thing together."

"I was," Harry says, "clearly I was horribly unsuccessful, but yes."

"I think I was just oblivious," Zayn says.

"You still are," Louis says.

"You were really cute," Harry says, shrugging.

"He still is," Liam puts in, squeezing Zayn's thigh under the table. Zayn grins at him.

"Come on," Louis says.

"Come on, what?" Niall says.

"Up on stage," Louis says, "karaoke with me?" He glances around at all of them, raising his eyebrows like they should all be catching on. Niall gets it first.

"Yes. That's good," Niall says.

"You want us all to sing together?" Liam asks.

"Like, all five of us?" Harry asks.

"I haven't sung in a really long time," Zayn says.

"It's just karaoke, Zayn," Louis says, as if Zayn doesn't know him well enough to know it's not more than that, to know he's not forming an idea.

"I don't-" Zayn starts, but then Liam tugs on his arm and whispers,

"It'll be fun," in his ear, and Zayn relents and the five of them stand up and head towards the stage. If people weren't snapping pictures before they sure are now, and Zayn wonders how long it will be before what they're about to do is all over youtube. Before it's not just a song at all.

Actually, it's not just a song at all from the very first note, because they pick and then they sing and- oh. Liam leads them off and then Harry and then all of them and their voices are all blending together and people are all just staring at them and they sound like, _really, really good._

The crowd breaks into applause and cheers when they're done, and Louis grins at them, smug and pleased with himself. They sit back down and he studies all of them.

"Just a song?" Zayn says.

"You know that was fun," Louis says.

"We killed it," Niall says.

"That was amazing," Liam says.

"Yeah," Harry agrees, nodding.

"We were incredible," Louis says.

"I bet that has a ton of hits by tomorrow," Niall says, "I mean, we've got Harry."

"Exactly," Louis says, "and if we get all those hits, and we make another video, maybe- don't you have a channel, Niall? And then you both still have people and contacts, and-" Louis trails off.

"And what?" Zayn asks.

"It's a better idea than a sex tape!" Louis says.

"What?" Liam asks.

"Sex tape?" Harry asks.

"For the record, I think this a good idea," Niall says, nodding at Lois who beams at him.

"Stop," Zayn says, "and spell out exactly what this good idea is, please."

"I want us to be a band, the five of us," Louis says.

"And I agree," Niall puts in.

"We'd already have a hook, and name power, people will care," Louis says.

"It can't hurt anything to try," Liam says, looking right at Zayn. He sighs.

"I always wanted to try music too," Harry says. Zayn looks around at all of them.

"It's been a long time," Zayn says.

"You sounded amazing out there," Liam says. Zayn bites his lip.

"Okay," Zayn says. Everyone beams at him.

**

He's sitting on Liam's couch a few days later, they haven't really been alone since Liam's show- Louis has sort of added himself into their relationship even as he's been falling for Harry. Their video had hit a million views and there were demands for more in the comments. (They had also been some awful comments, but they're ignoring those, because incredibly the good had far outweighed the bad.) Niall's writing them a song and Louis' got their whole next video planned out. Zayn still isn't sure about this, but he supposes Liam is right, that it can't hurt to try.

"I'm glad you're here," Liam says, grinning across the couch at Zayn.

"I'm glad I'm here too," Zayn says.

"We haven't really been alone in a while," Liam says.

"Sorry," Zayn says, "That's sort of Louis' way."

"I got that," Liam says, frowning a little. Then he shakes his head and says, "so I have news!"

"News?" Zayn asks. Liam beams at him and pulls a stack of papers off his coffee table and hands them to Zayn.

"It's going to happen," Liam says.

"What?" Zayn asks, he flips through the papers beneath him.

"That's a contract, for you, because Target wants your designs!" Liam says.

"Seriously?" Zayn says.

"Yes! I told you!" Liam says, he's beaming and scooting closer to Zayn on the couch and _wow._ This is actually happening. All of this.

"My drawings are going to be on clothes?" Zayn asks.

"They are!" Liam says, "There are meetings and stuff to go to, you'll have to design yourself a logo and pick things and all of that, but yes!"

"Fuck," Zayn says, just sort of low and wondering.

"You're happy, right?" Liam says.

"Yeah, I just- it's a lot," Zayn says.

'What's a lot?" Liam asks. Zayn sighs and looks over at Liam.

"We're a band! I have a line at Target! I have a… I have a you and I haven't had job prospects or a love life in years and now I just- there are so many things happening." Zayn says.

"But they're good things?" Liam asks,

"It's just a lot," Zayn repeats. Liam nods.

"I get it," Liam says, then he frowns again. "I, sorry, I don't want to- but."

"You don't want to what?" Zayn asks.

"You have a _me_?" Liam asks.

"Do I not have a you?" Zayn asks, trying to figure out what he said that was wrong.

"Of course you do, that's the point," Liam says.

"I'm lost here, Li, help," Zayn says.

"It's just- I don't want to push anything and we don't have to call us anything, that's fine, but I just. Fuck, I'm sorry, I hate to ask this but-" Liam stops again.

"Just tell me what you're thinking," Zayn says, and he braces himself.

"I'm not actually, you know, I'm not actually sharing you with Louis, am I?" Liam asks. Zayn lets out a breath. He really, really should have seen this conversation coming.

"Of course not," Zayn says.

"I'm sorry," Liam says and he looks like he feels terrible and okay, maybe Zayn owes him a little here.

"It would be a lie if I told you I've never slept with Louis, but not anymore, we're just friends- maybe not like, traditional friends, but we're just friends, I promise," Zayn says. Liam's brow furrows.

"How long as it been?" Liam asks, then he frowns again, "I'm sorry, that was out of line, you don't have to tell me."

"No, it's okay. Um, awhile? Way before I met you," Zayn says, and if _way_ is two months and not the years he knows he's letting his voice imply, well. He doesn't even understand his relationship with Louis and it's unfair to expect Liam to. It's just easier to lie a little.

"I didn't mean to accuse you of- I don't even know what I was accusing you of, but I just. I really like you. I really like Louis too, actually, and Harry and Niall and if we're all going to be a band I just want-" Liam stops and bites his lip.

"You just want?" Zayn asks.

"I just want to be sure that you and me is different than us and everyone else," Liam says. Zayn frowns a little.

"You weren't sure?" Zayn asks.

"I was, I just- we don't have to have labels or anything, but I just want- what I am to you to be more, or special, I guess?" Liam says.

"It is," Zayn says.

"Okay," Liam says.

"Yeah? We're okay?" Zayn says. Liam nods.

"Yeah," he says, "I'm sorry I brought it up."

"Don't be," Zayn says. Liam nods again, and then he smirks.

"You should let me congratulate you for the Target deal now," Liam says. Zayn smirks back.

"Yes, please," Zayn says. Liam pulls Zayn in by the belt loops.

**

He gets to thinking the next day, and he feels like maybe he should say something to Louis, only he has no idea what. He understands where Liam was coming from completely, and he thinks there is something fucked up about that. He knows there is something fucked up about how Louis spins him in the air and calls him brilliant and kisses his forehead when Zayn finally tells him about the clothing line. It's just not how people are, and he doesn't want it to change, but he thinks they might have to talk about it. He doesn't know how he's ever going to bring it up, though. He's saved from having to, because Louis starts it.

"You know what your problem is, Zayn the designer?" Louis says, they're sitting on their couch and sharing a bottle of wine. Not enough to get them drunk, but enough to be celebrating.

"What's that?" Zayn asks.

"You don't think you make an impact on people," Louis says.

"What?"

"You never would have thought your drawings were good enough if Liam hadn't talked you into it, you didn't think Harry remembered you, but he was flirting with you, you didn't think you could sing again, but you've sounded fucking amazing on the stuff we've been doing," Louis says.

"I was fourteen and he was a huge deal! I remember being starstruck that he talked to me at all," Zayn says.

"That too. You always miss people's points on purpose, terrible habit, even for an artist," Louis says.

"I don't," Zayn says.

'You do, all the time," Louis says.

"Whatever. I'll work on it," Zayn says.

"You should," Louis says, "But more importantly you should work on knowing how important you are."

"Lou," Zayn says.

"You think you're forgettable and you're not at all," Louis says, and he's leaning into Zayn's space and this is sort of the whole problem, right here. Louis is looking at him the way Louis always looks at him and he's saying these things and he's in Zayn's space and it's just-

"You have Harry," Zayn reminds Louis.

"And?" Louis says, frowning.

"And you have Harry. And I have Liam," Zayn says and he pulls back, way back, into the couch and away from Louis. Louis blinks at him.

"Did I do something?" Louis asks.

"Of course not," Zayn says.

"You're mad, and I thought we were celebrating," Louis says.

"I'm not mad," Zayn says.

"I mean, isn't the fact that we both have career and love life prospects a really good thing?" Louis says.

"It's amazing," Zayn says.

"I know, and I was just trying to remind you that you deserve it," Louis says.

"Don't," Zayn says. Louis crosses his arms.

"Don’t what?" Louis asks.

"You of all people do not get sit there and tell me how memorable I am, okay?" Zayn says. Louis blinks at him, then stares and then sighs and pulls Zayn in by the collar.

"Oh my god, Zayn. _Zayn_ , really?" Louis says. Zayn tries to shrug him off but Louis persists.

"Get off," Zayn says. Louis ignores him.

"Sometimes I am concerned about what your low opinion of me says about our relationship," Louis says.

"I don't think the problem here is that I have a _low_ opinion of you," Zayn says.

"No, you just think I have a shit memory, or possibly that I'm really shallow, neither of which are flattering. Christ, Zayn. Did you honestly think I don't remember?" Louis says. Zayn gulps.

"You do?" Zayn asks. Louis lets go of Zayn's collar and sighs.

"Of course I do," Louis says.

"Oh," Zayn says, "I just, because you never mentioned."

"You never did either," Louis points out.

"Yeah, but you're you," Zayn says. Louis laughs.

"That was a long time ago," Louis says.

"I know," Zayn says. Louis studies him for a minute.

"Do you know," Louis starts, "how fucking relieved I was to see you in rehab with me? I remember seeing you in that god awful common room that first day, and you looked as miserable as I felt and I thought it was fate."

"Fate?" Zayn says.

"Like, I know we're fucked up, that our relationship started under the influence of pills I don't remember on nights that the only thing I remember is you- and seriously, Zayn, god, how I remember you on those nights, okay? That was- we were hot back then, you know? And then we talked for real in rehab and we just- you were my partner in crime and my best friend and yeah, maybe other people don't do the things we do but, I like that we're fucked up," Louis says.

"We are," Zayn says.

"And I'm stupid falling for Harry and fuck, I love Liam and I'm thrilled you have him. I'm glad the five of us making a go at this, things are so good, but it was you and me when things were beyond shit, and so if we were fucked up then, if we're still a little fucked up, there is no one I'd rather have been fucked up having shit days with," Louis says and Zayn's heart swells.

"It was us when things were shit," Zayn repeats.

"It was," Louis says.

"I'm really glad," Zayn says, and he lets his head fall against Louis' chest.

"I can't believe you thought I forgot," Louis says.

"Sorry?" Zayn says. Louis rumples his hair.

"You just- give yourself some fucking credit once in awhile, yeah?" Louis asks. Zayn sighs and then says,

"I might like, I think I might want to- I really like Liam."

"I can tell," Louis says.

"I kind of want to like, call him my boyfriend and have sappy dinners with him and help him sleep," Zayn says.

"Then you should," Louis says, "help him sleep?"

"He doesn't sleep," Zayn says. Louis nods.

"Yeah, I can see that," Louis says. They sort of settle into a proper snuggle then, and it feels more okay than it has in awhile.

"Did I tell you I think the band thing is a good idea?" Zayn says.

"No, but thank you," Louis says, "Although I would have said 'brilliant' myself."

"Things are looking up," Zayn says.

"Yeah, I know. I'm weirdly happy," Louis says.

"You're always weird," Zayn says.

"You make a good point," Louis says.

They fall asleep snuggled on the couch that night, and for the first time it doesn't make Zayn question anything at all.

**

Their second video gets even more hits, and several media outlets cover them, and then a record label calls Louis and they sign and then get spectacularly drunk because they have a fucking record deal, because they're actually getting a second chance at this- a first chance for Liam, and who does that happen for? It's unbelievable and amazing and they're all sort of giddy with it. The talks are finalizing for Zayn's line too, and things are just- things are just _good._

"To coming back bigger and better than ever," Niall says, toasting. They all grin and toast back, sprawled on Harry's floor.

"To doing the impossible," Louis says.

"It's a real record deal," Liam says.

"I'm a genius," Louis says.

"We're going to be huge, I can feel it," Niall says.

"We just like, needed each other," Harry says, "all of us."

"We did," Niall agrees. Zayn looks around at all of them, a little amazed, not just at their record deal, not just at the buzz they're getting, but at the way all of them just seem so much happier, the way they've all fallen together, it's not a thing he thought could happen.

"I'm proud of us already, boys," Louis says.

"To us!" Liam says, and they all lift their glasses again.

**

The next week recording for real, in an actual sound booth with actual people and it's only demos and they're still working through a lot of things but it's still more professional than anything Zayn had done years ago. He glances across the room at Liam, who looks as happy as Zayn feels, and he looks at Harry and Louis, who have their hands linked as they sing, and grins at Niall, who grins back. He pulls Liam away when they break, off to a back room, and he shuts the door behind them.

"Well, hi," Liam says, pulling him in by the shirt. Zayn shakes his head.

"No, well, I mean yes, but that's not why I pulled you in here," Zayn says.

"No?" Liam asks, pulling back just a little. Zayn grabs his hands.

"I um, when we're done here tonight, I wanted to know if you wanted to come back with me," Zayn says.

"Come back with you?" Liam asks.

"I want- I don't want to do this in here right now, and I don't want to do this in a bathroom stall or on your floor or even on your couch or your bed. I want- I want you in my bed. With me. I want you to stay there all night," Zayn says.

"I could do that," Liam says, and his face is just glowing, like he can't even contain how happy Zayn has just made him, and it's sort of the most beautiful thing Zayn has seen in his whole fucking life.

"I want you to stay and I want to hold you until you fall asleep, because that's hard for you and if it helps I want-" Zayn stops and shakes his head. Liam grabs for his hand,

"You know nothing you can say would be too much, right?" Liam asks. Zayn swallows.

"I think I want you in my bed every night, want to hold you every night, want to help you sleep, for like… I don't think I'm going to stop wanting it," Zayn confesses.

"I want that too," Liam says.

"You do?" Zayn asks.

"So much," Liam says.

"And I want- I want to introduce you as my boyfriend, even though you sort of already know everyone I do, but whatever, and I want- you, just. I want everything with you, if that's okay," Zayn says.

"It's more than okay," Liam says.

"Yeah?" Zayn asks. Liam stares at him,

"You- I'm in love with you, you know that, right?" Liam says. Zayn swallows again, and then he grabs Liam and pulls him in by the front of his shirt.

"I didn't, but I'm- you too. I'm in love with you too," Zayn says, kissing Liam as he does. Liam smiles softly when they pull apart.

"If you help me sleep, can I help you believe in you a little more?" Liam asks. Zayn nods.

"I think it's just, I had all these hopes, and they all fell apart, you know? My career fell apart and I had these god awful relationships and I ran so far from them that I hid in rehab center and I just gave up for awhile and-" he stops when Liam puts a hand over his mouth.

"I know," Liam says, "but now you have me, and the band, and your line, and I'm not going anywhere, none of it is."

"I know," Zayn says, and in that moment he actually does know it, he actually believes it.

**

They've selected tracks for their album and done a few interviews as a group when Harry and Louis sit everyone down during a break one day.

"Are you engaged?" Niall asks, "because no one will be surprised and we don't really need a serious meeting about that."

"No," Louis says, "we just, we want to do something, but we wanted to ask you guys first."

"Ask away," Liam says.

"Okay, we just um, I mean, I wrote a book and I came out in such a big way," Harry starts, "and there are already whispers about me and Louis and we wanted. We were going to arrange an interview and come out as a couple, if that's okay with everyone?"

"Of course it is," Niall says.

"We don't want to pressure you guys or anything, we just want to start with that, so it's out there and people know I mean, we understand if you guys are wary about that being something we're so known for right off the bat, but it just makes sense to us to do it now," Harry says.

"And I've thought about doing this for a really long time, since I was famous the first time, but then when I wasn't anymore it just seemed sort of pathetic, but now. As long as it's okay with everyone," Louis says.

"Absolutely," Liam says.

"Zayn?" Louis says. Zayn holds Louis' eyes for a moment across the table, and his heart surges and he thinks of all the times Louis has talked about this but not meant it and he knows how much Louis means it now,

"I'm really proud of you, Louis," Zayn says. Louis beams at him.

"So it's okay?" Louis asks.

"Yeah," Zayn says.

"I'm a little bit in love with all of you right now, is that strange?" Harry asks.

"Probably not as strange as the fact that I'm a little in love everyone here, all things considered," Niall says. They all grin.

"It's the power of music, bringing people together," Louis says.

**

Liam takes extra credits so he can graduate before their album is done, and Zayn's proudest accomplishment is probably not their album at all, or his line that launches a few weeks before their first single drops, but the fact that even with the stress of the extra classes and his million activities and their album, he actually does get Liam to sleep for at least four hours every night. (Danielle actually sends him one of those cookie bouquets in thanks, she says it's the best rested she's seem Liam in all the time she's known him.) He's feels like it's a win, even if nothing else pans out at all.

Except, of course, that it does, because their single is already climbing the charts when Harry and Louis sit down for their interview, the one that goes to press exactly five days before Liam graduates and one week before their album drops. The buzz surrounding them is huge- it's so big that Louis' show picks back up in syndication, a big deal, a first really, considering he's come out to a magazine- and both Zayn and Niall's older stuff gets some new life too- shows air in time slots that people are actually home for and Niall's solo stuff getting a huge sales spike on iTunes.

Part of him is still worried that he's going to crash again, that this can't last forever, won't last forever- but he thinks that this time, even if the rug gets pulled from them, even if they're a one hit wonder based on a gimmick- they can fall back on each other, they're prepared. No matter what happens, he's sure he and Louis have been through worse, and this time they'll have more than just each other- so really, it's not scary at all. There is only so far they can fall back when their new baseline is so amazing.

Their album becomes number one on iTunes with in six hours of its release.

Zayn is pretty sure that's a sign things will be amazing, this time. That is exactly where all of them are supposed to be.


End file.
